My Friend's Best Wedding

My good friend Pam was married on 10/21/06; 10 days ago. It was a nice wedding I suppose. You shouldn’t take that as an insult in any way Pam. Though, since she never posts a comment, I have no idea if she ever really reads this. I think I just don’t get the ceremony. I’ve been in 3 weddings, best man at 2 (always the best man never the bestest man), and it’s mildly fun if you are standing up front. Plus as best man you hold the ring. But watching is not nearly as fun. Especially when your friend/date (were you my date?) who is in the wedding talks to you like you have any clue about what went on behind the scenes but really you’re totally lost on who/what the heck she is talking about. So anyway they said their “I do’s” and that was that. I did get to sit in the back of the sanctuary with a friend from college that I haven’t seen for a while with his new baby. So that was good.

The reception however was one of the best I’ve been to. This is largely because of the live band. The food was pretty good and the open bar was nice, though I only had wine with dinner because I was driving. The band was awesome! Instead of the normal DJ where you get tons of top 40 that nobody really likes, with a few slow songs thrown in for good measure, they had a live band. It was a lot of funk style music. They were really rockin’. I’m really not into dancing that much so I stayed off the floor for most of the first set. I was pretty much ready to leave when I got too close to the dance floor and was ordered by the bride to join in. I ALWAYS have fun with Pam so I went out on the floor. I stayed the rest of the night. It was so fun. We even dragged Lori out onto the floor. It was a fun night.

The band was Brass Taxi at www.brasstaxi.com. If you are having a wedding in the Rochester area you should totally get them. I don’t know how far they travel but if you are having a wedding anywhere they don’t go then that’s sad for you.

"How did it turn out?"

"Hello!! The two most beautiful women here!!"

Pledge THIS!!

A few days ago my friend Dave put a post on his website that I wanted to reply to. As I was writing my comment, I quickly realized that it was probably going to be longer than the original post. So rather than have a really long reply I thought I would just blog about it. His post with the comments is at: http://onegeek.net/blog/2006/10/25/abstinence-pledges-dangerous/#comments . Here is the post itself:

Just read an interesting news piece on abstinence sex education and pledges in the US. It noted that 88 percent of pledge takers had sex before marriage and that were less likely to seek STI testing and less likely to use contraception when they did have sex.

There is a saying that we geeks use: Correlation does NOT prove causation. I hate all statisticians and laugh at everyone that tries to use statistics in an argument.* Statistics can be a useful tool but much they aren’t the last word. Like a hammer is only useful for nails, a statistic has very limited scope and application. Though that limit is almost always ignored. Most would say that this statistic proves that Abstinence Only education is ridiculous and kids will just do it anyway. That’s not what it says. What does it tell us? This number speaks only to success of the program in its current state. This number is useful in evaluating the teaching of our children. What are the numbers of the “war on drugs”? Why haven’t we given up trying to stop teenage drug use? They keep using drugs, why not just assume they will do what they will do? What about teenage drinking? So what if they like to drink at parties? Why hasn’t anybody used the drug and alcohol abuse statistics to prove they should give up?

Because failure means you need to try something different, not give up! When “Just say no” wasn’t enough, they show commercials with a guy frying an egg. If that’s not enough show them Whitney Houston (if she isn’t a walking anti drug commercial, I don’t know what is!). So stop saying that failure is proof that it can’t work.

The Abstinence Only program needs to take some cues from the Drug and Alcohol people. Don’t just tell them “Don’t do it”. That doesn’t work for anything. They need to give the kids tools to keep them out of situations where the decision is already made for them. Help them make good choices about making out all night in a car, at a party (with drugs and alcohol), or in the hallway at school for 4.5 of the 5 mins they have between classes. They need to be taught how to have a healthy, nourishing, loving relationship. They need to be taught how to deal with the emotions and hormones raging in their bodies. The reason that they don’t use contraception or get STI testing is that they are ashamed of their actions. Don’t teach them they are failures for not keeping their promise; teach them the forgiveness of the Father when we fail.

WE are the failures when we don’t support our kids in their own decisions.

*I don’t really hate all statisticians. There’s one at my church that actually has a good sense of humor.

11 Books

About a week ago my blog friend, Tiffany, tagged me. So here are my answers to the book-tag. I enjoyed doing this as well as reading her’s and Dave’s answers. I would like to hear from a bunch of people on this. But I really only read 3 other people’s blogs. I’m not popular like Dave and Tiffany. So I will Tag just 3 people:
1. Lori. Even though she told me not to. But since you have time while you’re home, you might as well.
2. James. If his reading is like his music taste, I’ll have a bunch more suggestions to read.
3. Heather. Because she is the only other person’s blog I read. Also I’m sure that she and Mike (her husband) will come up with some good answers.
Too bad my librarian friend Carrie doesn’t read this. If she does and wants to post her choices I will post them here. She will be my first guest blogger.

11 Books:
1. ONE BOOK THAT CHANGED YOUR LIFE?
Blood Brothers by Elias Chaccour. I read part before and part after I spent 5 weeks in Israel and Palestine. It’s the story of the Israeli occupation of Palestine in 1949 from the perspective of a 6-year-old boy and his life of living/dealing with it. Though it didn’t happen that summer, that book and trip put me on the track of relief/development work. It’s why I went to India, why I applied to the Peace Corp, and why someday I’ll do something to help people in poverty.

2. ONE BOOK YOU HAVE READ MORE THAN ONCE?
The only one is the Bible. I don’t re-read books. There are too many good ones out there to waste time reading stuff over and over. Though I watch movies multiple times and I bet books would be good the second time too. Plus I read so slowly that re-reading will take up so much time.

3. ONE BOOK YOU WOULD WANT ON A DESERT ISLAND?
I used to say War and Peace because it’s long. But that’s not really a good reason. As a “classic” I’m sure I would find it boring and would just end up imagining car chases and things blowing up. I think a better one would be a survival book about what berries to eat and what leaves you shouldn’t use to wipe your butt. Other wise a good Tom Clancy novel.

4. ONE BOOK THAT MADE YOU LAUGH?
From the Holy Mountain by William Dalrymple. It’s about this guy’s journey through West Asia visiting ancient churches. The funny part is when he talks to the Greek Orthodox priests, they tell him that he’s going to hell because he’s catholic and that the Pope is the antichrist but welcome to the church. Then he visit’s a Catholic church and they talk about how the Orthodox will all burn in hell. I was laughing out loud on a 1.5 day train ride through India.

5. ONE BOOK THAT MADE YOU CRY?
This is a bad question for me. Pretty much anything even slightly sappy makes me cry. It would probably be a shorter list of the books that didn’t make me cry. Some that made me cry for real and not just water my eyes: Too Small to Ignore by Wess Stratford, Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck (HE KILLED LENNY!!), Where the Red Fern Grows (which I read 2 years ago), Deliver Us From Evil by William Shawcross (about UN in the ‘90s).

6. ONE BOOK YOU WISH YOU HAD WRITTEN?
The End of Poverty by Jeffery Sachs, though I don’t really agree with everything that he said. The problem of poverty is bigger than economics but that’s as good a place to start as any other. I hope that if I have the chance I will write a book that will slap people in the face like that one does. It’s such a wake up call and I think that every world leader should have to join a book club and read it.

7. ONE BOOK YOU WISH HAD NEVER BEEN WRITTEN?
The Da Vinci Code. Though not for the reason you are thinking. It shattered the illusion for me. Before that book was so popular I thought that Americans, as a whole, weren’t stupid. Boy was I wrong. I mean do you really have no concept of the difference between fiction and real life? Not even good fiction, poorly written fiction and real life. Entertaining and all but we have to have better books than that, what will English teachers of the future, like Tiffany, torture our kids with?

8. ONE BOOK YOU ARE CURRENTLY READING?
I’m reading 2 books now.
One is J is for Judgement by Sue Grafton. This is a popcorn novel and I hope you don’t judge me too harshly for reading it. I just wanted something to read while I’m on my lunch break at work. I can read a few pages and not get lost if I don’t read it for a few days.

I’m really reading Too Small to Ignore: Why Children are the Next Big Thing by Wess Stratford. It’s about how children suffer even more than adults from poverty and usually get the short end of the stick when it comes to relief agencies. Awesome book and it may be changing my view on what I want to do with my life. Which is no good because if I don’t get moving then my life will be done before I figure out what to do with it.

9. ONE BOOK YOU HAVE BEEN MEANING TO READ?
One just isn’t enough. These aren’t in the order I plan to read them:
Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafifi, The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini, Guns Germs and Steel by Jared Diamond (though I’ve heard him speak and that almost changed my mind), The Curious Incident of the Dog at Midnight by Mark Haddon, The World Is Flat by Thomas L Friedman, and a ton of other Aid/Delivery books. Of course now that I’ve read Dave’s and Tiffany’s lists I have a ton more books that I have to read.

10. ONE BOOK YOU'RE GLAD YOU OWN?
The Bible, Too Small to Ignore, Blood Brothers, The End of Poverty. Pretty much all of the ones I own. We take owning and reading books too lightly. Though I’m not real proud that I own I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. I didn’t enjoy it if that makes it any better. I was thinking of Tom Clancy the whole time…

11. ONE BOOK THAT MUST BE READ ALOUD?
Everyone Poops by Taro Gomi; a Funny Kids book.